Kiwi Fruit Wine 2018 - Fifth Bottle (4), 21st-22nd October 2020

Oh, I'm bored. Everything is so much the same. I can't see an end to this enclosure that we discover ourselves in. Life's horizons have narrowed and it is an effort to remain entertained. On Wednesday and Thursday, in an attempt to find that entertainment, we watched Des: a grim drama (well made) about serial killer Dennis Nilsen. So that jollied things up.

We drank this bottle of Kiwi Fruit Wine over the two nights. Very much like a disappointing white wine with a slightly fruity taste.

A photo of a gate, taken on 22 October

Kiwi Fruit Wine 2018 - Fourth Bottle (5), 9th July 2020

My mood on Thursday matched the weather. It pissed it down all day. I cancelled my morning walk and went out after work instead. The rain was only moderately less heavy. At Sainsbury's, I bought some salted caramel cookies and barbecue sauce pop-chips thinking that unwholesome food might cheer me up. This was partly successful. Better, though, was an evening being companionable with Claire and this bottle of kiwi fruit wine. It really isn't bad at all. Maybe a tad sweet, but certainly a long way from "Never again". It may be my April wine next year.

Taken on 10th July - I didn't get

my camera out on 9th July.

Kiwi Fruit Wine - Third Bottle (1), 23rd-24th January 2020

Well, this wine was unexpectedly good. The secret? Set your expectations low. The wine had a buttery taste to it and was not dissimilar to a proper white wine. Claire had the first half of the bottle whilst I was at Alan and Audrey's (here, setting my expectations low did not produce a musically satisfying evening). I had the second half of the bottle on Friday whilst Claire was out playing string quartets. It was a lazy evening where all I did was watch things on the internet and drink copiously. In other words, a thoroughly satisfactory Friday night.

A really dull photo that I took on 23 January 

(work related, to check on boundaries of one

of the houses that my firm built)

Kiwi Fruit Wine - Second Bottle (2), 9th-12th November 2019

This was not a popular wine at my Wine Party. It came in equal 10th (or second-to-last) place, with an average score of 2.5 out of 5. However, the fact that one of the worst wines of the evening was comfortably above 2 indicates that my overall quality has improved. Two people said that Kiwi Fruit wine was bland and I am inclined to agree.

One notable thing of the Wine Party was Claire's Rabbit Pie. It was a raised pie, looked amazing and tasted sublime. She used redcurrants in the mix and their sharpness really set off the rabbit flavours.

Kiwi Fruit Wine - First Bottle (2), 14th April 2019

"If I was served this in a pub, I would be disappointed but I wouldn't complain."

This was Claire's verdict on Kiwi fruit wine. The main problem is that this wine is too sweet. Otherwise, it is mostly bland. Beautifully clear, though, despite my misgivings when making it. We drank the bottle after a Sunday spent in York, partly to see Mom & Pop, and partly to have a wander round York Open Studios - where I bumped into may people connected with my teenage years.

If you want to see how I made this wine, click here.

Kiwi Fruit Wine 2018 - The Making Of...

Easter Monday should be spent in the garden, followed by a trip to the Garden Centre. This is simply what middle-class, middle-aged British people do. It is our cultural duty. On 2nd April 2018, I failed my nation. In my defence, for much of the day it was snowing and when not snowing there was a torrent of rain. Instead, I spent the morning tidying our bedroom (unearthing paraphernalia from Amsterdam - I was last there in 2016) and the afternoon making kiwi-fruit wine.

I have only made this flavour once before - five years ago - though if you google 'Kiwi Fruit wine' it is the second web page out of the box. I made up the recipe that time and pretty much followed it this. To start, I counted out 20 kiwi fruit, weighed them and added another two to bring the weight up to 3 lbs 8 oz. I cut each of them in half, held the half over the bucket and scooped the insides out with a spoon, discarding the skin. This had the advantage that the flesh and all spare juice landed squarely in the bucket. On the downside I discovered a combination of fine kiwi fruit hairs and acidic kiwi fruit juice has blistered my finger and caused an irritating rash. How I suffer for my hobby!

I mashed the fruit with a potato masher, added 3 lbs of sugar and poured over 6½ pints of boiling water. On Tuesday morning I put in a teaspoon each of nutrient, pectolase and tannin (I can't imagine that it needs any additional acid) and added the yeast. I then left the wine in its bucket until Saturday morning, 7th April, mostly forgetting to stir it twice a day.

On Saturday I got up early - Claire has just got a new phone and her alarm turns out to be a rooster call, which refuses to be turned off - and did my wine-making jobs before ten. Transferring the wine to its demijohn was straightforward and I could have reduced the water in the initial mix by a quarter of a pint - but at that level it won't make a difference. I am pleased that the wine has a distinctly green tinge, albeit on the greyish side. Claire thinks it looks like summer pond water - full of algae but (hopefully) no fish.

Kiwi Fruit Wine - Final Bottle (4), 14th-16th April 2017

Sooz claimed that she could taste Kiwi Fruit in this wine. Neither Claire nor I could. Having left the wine four years since making, it has developed the flavour of generic home-made wine that has stood around too long. I get the same taste from Julia's wines. It was still drinkable, but 'drinkable' does not translate as 'pleasant'.

We drank most the bottle on Good Friday, which was a lazy day interspersed with a trip out to Saltaire and plenty more booze. The wine was then untouched on Saturday, and finished after we had drunk the good stuff on Sunday. Easter Day was another relaxed day - it is a less frantic holiday than Christmas - in which Jayne came over, Claire finished crocheting a hare's head, and I decided not to make Kiwi Wine again.

Kiwi Fruit Wine - Fifth Bottle (5), 25th May 2015

Claire was sufficiently impressed with this bottle to describe it as "like cheap white wine". I could ask for no better compliment. (And, in fact, I think it reaches into the mid-price range.)

We drank this on bank holiday Monday, which was anything but a holiday. Cleaning and tidying was the order of the day, virtually without let-up. But now our house is tidier that it has been since we moved in 17 years ago. I walk into each room just to admire its order. How long we can maintain this is another matter. I think 48 hours will be pushing it.

This level of untidiness is not atypical

Kiwi Fruit Wine - Fourth Bottle (1), 29th April - 2nd May 2015

After we had both had a glass of Kiwi Wine (which has developed a chemically taste) I noticed that Stan was not his usual self. Rather than greeting us with a demand for food when we returned from WYSO, he had remained curled up. On further inspection he was limping badly and yowled when Claire touched his leg. She rang the emergency vets and we decided to take him in the next morning. I was convinced that this was the end for him and hardly slept. When told on Thursday morning by the vet that it was probably only an abscess I had to exercise all self control not to weep with relief. Ridiculous. But several days later he is still not right and needs another visit.

I finished the bottle after playing half a concert with the White Rose Orchestra - Mozart's 24th Piano Concerto. The soloist was completely mad. In her cadenza she plaed Rondo a la Turk as if arranged by Scriabin.

Kiwi Fruit Wine - Third Bottle (2), 7th-10th August 2014

Claire writes:

This bottle was threatening to open itself on the day that we returned from Rydal. To my "joy", Ben declared it just about acceptable that I should drink it while he is in Wales. "Yippee". I had been studiously ignoring it, but fancied something cold and a bit fizzy tonight, so bit the bullet. It is bland, inoffensive and tastes nothing like kiwi fruit*.

Watched the fist episode of Bake Off 2014. One of the contestants looks horrifyingly like my PhD supervisor. Gave me quite a turn.

The annual courgette glut has started.

Ian Eperon - the PhD supervisor

A contestant on Great British Bake Off

* She lies

Kiwi Fruit Wine - Second Bottle (6), 29th July 2014

I like Kiwi Fruit Wine. I am not convinced that other people do.

Two bottles were opened tonight - this and Elderberry, and everyone was very positive about the latter. Mostly they were polite about the Kiwi. No-one except me thought that the kiwi taste was apparent. Jane said that it had similarities to a flat Cava, which was meant well.

It is Rydal week and we have reached the halfway point. Today has had more of the Cesar Franck Symphony than is ideal - it having appeared at both rehearsals. But there have also been two satisfying games of croquet and bread & butter pudding - so it isn't all bad.

Kiwi Fruit Wine - First Bottle (3), 4th April 2014

I have been eager to try this wine since I first made it a year ago. The Extended Family Gathering seemed like an appropriate time to crack open the first bottle. And my verdict is that it is quite good and probably worth trying again. There is a strong taste of Kiwi Fruit, so I got that right when making it, and it is a crisp, dry white. Maybe a touch more sugar wouldn't hurt. There is a similarity to ordinary white wine, and that is pleasing. The colour is paler and less green than hoped, but attractive, and its clarity ranged from 'crystal' at the top of the bottle to 'murky' below. My guinea pigs (not literal, you understand) liked it

If you want to see how I made this wine, click here.

Kiwi Fruit Wine - The Making Of ...

Spring may finally have sprung, though it has taken until 6th April to do so. The sky is blue, there is virtually no snow remaining and our rhubarb plants are raising their first exploratory tendrils. I should really be outside digging, but I need to get April's wine started today.

I went into our usual fruit and veg shop fully intending to come out with three tins of exotic fruit, but my eye was caught by the kiwi fruit, being sold at five for a pound. This is a whole kiwi fruit per pound cheaper than normal and I do love a bargain. Also, joy of joys, I get to tick off the letter K from my alphabet of wine. So all portents for this flavour are hopeful. (Though Claire thinks it will  be bland.)

I do not have a recipe for kiwi fruit wine, so I decided that twenty kiwi fruit would probably be about right - which is four pounds in weight (and, coincidentally, price). I have not googled the recipe in case I find out I need double that. I peeled them, though did not worry overly about leaving some skin on. This was tedious and sticky, and it is easier to peel them whole rather than in halves.

I chopped each fruit into eight and put them all in the bucket. They got a good mash and I added three pounds of sugar. I boiled seven pints of water and poured this over. The process made me irritable - which I worked out was because I got too hot and Stan, who does not like any food I currently serve (except creme caramel), whined incessantly. I locked him in the front room with some Sainsbury's Own Brand.

On my return from the theatre - Rutherford & Son, performed by Northern Broadsides (shouty, intense, good) - the wine's temperature had dropped to 29 degrees, so I added the yeast and a teaspoon each of nutrient, pectolase and tannin.

I strained the liquid into its demijohn on Wednesday evening, 10th April. I was close with my estimate of water required - there is probably about half a pint too much. As was entirely predictable, the wine has turned from green to its usual cloudy-piss yellow.

If you want to see how this wine has turned out, click here