Zucchini Wine - Third Bottle (3), 10th May 2019

Well, that is another bottle down the sink. Only three left to go.

This was my comedy wine for the Kelso holiday and saved until the last night, specifically so that Ann would not have to try it. She thinks that the joke has worn somewhat thin. In fact, I think this wine has lost some if its offensiveness. Nick said that its worst crime was blandness. Wendy & Richard thought it drinkable. They were in the minority but it does solve the problem of what to do with the remaining three bottles.

The wine was poor reward for having done a 12 mile walk (advertised as 9) to the top of Windy Gyle via the Heatherhope Valley.

Exploring an Iron Age Hill Fort above Heatherhope Valley

Zucchini Wine - Second Bottle (4), 17th November 2018

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. Zucchini Wine lost the Wine Party. Out of sixteen bottles it came sixteenth and received an average score of 0.17 out of 5. I don't think I have ever had such an unpopular wine. Some mad fool awarded it a 2, but otherwise it had a mix of 0s and -1s. Actually, Lindsay gave it a quarter of a point for being liquid. Elsewhere I got "Horrid", "What a shocker", "Bleuurk", an unsmiley face and "Smells like perm solution". I have literally no idea how to get rid of the remaining four bottles.

Z is for Zero.

People's reaction when I offer them a glass of Zucchini Wine

Zucchini Wine - First Bottle (5), 14th September 2018

I have a rule. I will not write up a bottle of wine until it is empty. I am breaking that rule. In front of me is a bottle of Zucchini Wine with only two small glasses having been taken from it. The remainder will not pass human lips (or any other species' come to that). It is foul. There is a hint of vomit to both its aroma and taste. Claire couldn't finish her glass. I manfully struggled on with mine, but only as a punishment for making the stuff in the first place. This is quite definitely the worst wine I have made for an age.

The Offending Bottle

If you want to see how I made this wine (just in case you feel like having a go, because, let's face it, why wouldn't you?) click here.

Blackberry Wine - Second Bottle (A5), 14th September 2018

Not quite as good as the first bottle of this batch, but still a pleasure to drink. I think demijohn A is not as sweet as demijohn B, and for blackberry wine that makes a difference. It was our Friday night bottle (unless one counts the Zucchini, which frankly one should not) and we drank it to home made pizza whilst watching The Great British Bake Off  before an early night. I do love this programme but find it hard to explain why it is so engaging: pleasant people making bread under timed conditions? Sounds dull. And it is the same every year. But it is all done with humour and love, and it makes you care.

Zucchini Wine - The Making Of...

Back in the early summer, I freecycled a stack of roof tiles that had been in our garden, gathering spiders and snails, since we bought the house. The woman who collected them gave us a courgette plant in thanks and Claire planted it in our front garden. It did not seem to be particularly fruitful and we mostly ignored it. This is a dangerous strategy when it comes to courgettes. The smallest fruit will, when you turn your back, grow into the most enormous marrow. And so it came to pass.

Our innocent looking courgette plant

Claire went out on Wednesday to harvest what we knew was a large courgette and staggered into the house with a seven pound, twenty inch monster. This was too big to cook and I was given permission to turn it into wine. In honour of my half-American heritage I feel justified in naming this brew 'Zucchini Wine'. Because of my Wine-Alphabet odyssey it is a wine that I had always planned to make, being the natural choice for Z, but I wanted it as my last letter. I have yet to tick off J, so that hasn't quite worked.

Anyway, I consulted my recipe books and have adapted C J J Berry's recipe for Marrow Wine. On Friday 1st September, I grated the zucchini (must not call it 'marrow') using the food processor, only discarding the very ends. I put this in my bucket, along with the juice of two oranges and 2-and-a-bit ounces of grated ginger. I added 2 lb 12 oz sugar and poured over 6½ pints of boiling water. At this stage what I have made is a sweet zucchini soup.

The grated zucchini

On Saturday morning I put in two teaspoons of citric acid (the recipe book asked for four), a teaspoon of tannin (not mentioned in the recipe), a teaspoon each of nutrient and pectolase plus the yeast and gave it all a good stir.

Tuesday (5th September) was my only night in this week, so that is when I sieved the liquid into its demijohn. Once I had removed the bulk of the vegetable matter with a colander, this was a quick job. It is probably not worth noting that I should have used a pint less water (it is highly likely that I won't be making this again). The taste at this stage is unpromising and its colour is dishwater grey-green. I will deem anything better than 'nasty' for this wine as a monumental success.

If you want to see how this wine turned out (and I recommend that you do so if you are thinking of following this recipe), click here.