Gooseberry Wine 2021 - The Making Of...

For years we have been saying that our freezer is too small for all the excess fruit that I pick, and that we must investigate getting a small freezer just for wine making. Claire and I are great procrastinators. If you require further evidence, you only need to go into our front room. We have owned the house for six years now and have yet to paint the plaster.

Some of our gooseberries, close up.

Anyway, on Sunday 10th July I went on-line to investigate mini-freezers and about ten minutes later had ordered one. It arrived on Monday. Why I took about four years or so over this, I do not know. Mostly it will be filled with gooseberries this year. Our bushes are rampant. We have at least three varieties and all have had a good summer.

Gooseberries being washed

On Sunday 11th July I went out to harvest 6 lbs for this wine. Those in the back garden are not as far on as those in the front, but I still picked a few from each bush, getting lightly scratched in the process. Why are gooseberry plants quite so defensive of their fruit?

More gooseberries!

In the end, I picked 2 oz less than the 6 lbs required, but that was Good Enough. I put them in our largest cooking pot with 3 pints of water, brought them to the boil and let them simmer for 5 minutes. The whole lot went into my bucket with 2 lbs 14 oz sugar and a further two pints of cold water. I added a teaspoon each of yeast, nutrient, pectolase and tannin just before going to bed and by Monday morning it was all fermenting nicely

Gooseberry wine fermenting

The wine got one stir each day and I planned to put it in its demijohn on Friday evening. However, by then I had worked until 6:15 and was in a thoroughly bad mood, so I left it until this morning, 17th July.

Gooseberry does take a long time to put into its demijohn, though I had Radio 3's Record Review to keep me company. The wine is going to produce a huge sediment.

The first demijohn of Gooseberry Wine

It did - massive! I racked this on 20th August and I fit in most of 2 pints of water with 4 oz sugar dissolved.

I am making a second batch, this time crushing the berries rather than boiling them and 5 pints of boiling water. I started on Sunday 23rd August and racked it on 25th September. The sediment on this one was slightly smaller, but I put in 36 fluid ounces of water with 2 oz sugar dissolved.

Japonica Quince Wine - The Making Of...

2020, despite its myriad flaws, has been splendid for hard fruit. Our crab apple, pear and apple trees are laden. More unusually, so are all three flowering quinces. In past years they have put out two or three knobbly yellow fruits each. If used at all, these have been turned into jelly but mostly have been ignored. This year, though, each plant has tens of quinces, and that has made my wine-making thumbs twitch. I am not absolutely certain that Japonica Quince wine will work. After all, these are not the edible quinces. Neither, though, are they poisonous and there is only one way to discover whether they are suitable for wine.

Japonica Quinces on their bush

On 27th September I picked 4 lbs 8 oz of quinces, which is probably less than half our potential harvest. This was the bloodiest foraging that I have done: flowering quinces have fierce spikes and my left hand looks like it has done several rounds with an angry cat.

Minor flesh wounds

Back inside, after bathing my wounds, I checked recipes. The one requiring 20 proper quinces was out, leaving the one requiring 3 lemons and the other calling for 1 lb sultanas. I chose the latter on the basis that my previous quince wine was too dry and sultanas should help. Also, this is how I make apple wine.

My haul of quinces

I sliced all the quinces (after washing them) using the food processor and put them in my pan with 7 pints of water. I brought this to the boil and simmered for 15 minutes. Meanwhile I minced 12 oz sultanas (reducing the amount the recipe said, so as to preserve the delicate quince taste) and put these in my bucket with 3 lbs sugar. Once the 15 minutes was up, I poured the water and quinces (and thousands of seeds) into the bucket and stirred until the sugar was dissolved.

The quinces, once sliced

The next morning, Monday, I added a teaspoon each of nutrient, pectolase, citric acid and yeast. On Friday 2nd October I put the wine into its demijohn, which was a lengthy and tedious task. Japonica Quince wine appears to have 'sludge' as its main characteristic, and it was slow to drain through its sieve. Its colour is an attractive peach but there is much foam at the top and I fear it will make an attempt to escape the confines of its glass prison.

Taken the following morning, when the
sediment had sunk.

If you want to see how this wine turned out, click here.

Apple Wine 2019 - First Bottle (3), 20th June 2020

I opened this on the day it was bottled because I did not want to sacrifice a third cork to this particular vessel. The first cork got stuck in my corking machine and the string snapped for my second attempt, so I gave it up as a bad job and put this bottle in the fridge.

The wine is too dry - I should have used sugar when racking, but with a dash of sugar syrup it is a pleasant, unremarkable white that tastes vaguely of apples.

Earlier in the day, I was chief witness to two cyclists being knocked off their bikes by a car. The result was plenty of blood and ambulances and one impressive black eye. It could have been much worse.

Actually, not all that much blood

If you want to see how I made this wine, click here.

Apple Wine - Third Bottle (3), 8th December 2018

Seeing as my parents could not come to the Wine Party, on account of Pop's slipped disc, I decided to take one of my better bottles to York with me. Guessing correctly that we would be having fish, I chose Apple. Pop, though, was mostly drinking beer and Mom really only drinks gin these days (not in the quantities that suggests). They both tried the apple wine, possibly to humour me, but both said they enjoyed it.

As ever, when staying over with the parents, we had a lovely, relaxed evening, full of conversation.

Kiwi Fruit Wine 2018 - The Making Of...

Easter Monday should be spent in the garden, followed by a trip to the Garden Centre. This is simply what middle-class, middle-aged British people do. It is our cultural duty. On 2nd April 2018, I failed my nation. In my defence, for much of the day it was snowing and when not snowing there was a torrent of rain. Instead, I spent the morning tidying our bedroom (unearthing paraphernalia from Amsterdam - I was last there in 2016) and the afternoon making kiwi-fruit wine.

I have only made this flavour once before - five years ago - though if you google 'Kiwi Fruit wine' it is the second web page out of the box. I made up the recipe that time and pretty much followed it this. To start, I counted out 20 kiwi fruit, weighed them and added another two to bring the weight up to 3 lbs 8 oz. I cut each of them in half, held the half over the bucket and scooped the insides out with a spoon, discarding the skin. This had the advantage that the flesh and all spare juice landed squarely in the bucket. On the downside I discovered a combination of fine kiwi fruit hairs and acidic kiwi fruit juice has blistered my finger and caused an irritating rash. How I suffer for my hobby!

I mashed the fruit with a potato masher, added 3 lbs of sugar and poured over 6½ pints of boiling water. On Tuesday morning I put in a teaspoon each of nutrient, pectolase and tannin (I can't imagine that it needs any additional acid) and added the yeast. I then left the wine in its bucket until Saturday morning, 7th April, mostly forgetting to stir it twice a day.

On Saturday I got up early - Claire has just got a new phone and her alarm turns out to be a rooster call, which refuses to be turned off - and did my wine-making jobs before ten. Transferring the wine to its demijohn was straightforward and I could have reduced the water in the initial mix by a quarter of a pint - but at that level it won't make a difference. I am pleased that the wine has a distinctly green tinge, albeit on the greyish side. Claire thinks it looks like summer pond water - full of algae but (hopefully) no fish.

Blackcurrant Wine - Fifth Bottle (3), 4th May 2015

It is cruel to do so, but Claire and I spent much of the day laughing at Stan. Mind you, he has cost us £350 in vets' bills, so he shouldn't begrudge us the entertainment value. Stan has a wounded leg that went septic. The vet has drained the abscess and put a cone round his head to prevent him licking the wound. Now Stanley wanders round bumping into things and looking cross. The sound of our laughter cannot help. But none of this is about wine, which was an excellent bottle - better than previous ones of this flavour and full of sharp blackcurrant.

Stan in the Cone of Shame

Prune & Parsnip Wine - Eleventh Bottle (A1), 3rd-4th May 2015

We had a splendid Mediteranean meal on Sunday, full of chickpeas, aubergines, olives, yoghurt and cucumber, and all accompanied by falaffel and pitta bread (home made). Claire is a genius, and that partly manifests itself in the kitchen. Prune & Parsnip wine was the right choice: sweet with both depth and clarity.

The day was mostly taken up with books and cats. I am reading Lady Audley's Secret - a nineteenth century pot-boiler. Badly written, but with sufficient plot to keep the pages turning and loads of historical detail. In between chapters, we had to take Stan to the vets again. His leg was no better. The vet took him into another room from which emitted yowls and screams of an unhappy cat. We made a further appointment for him today. I shall describe the result in the next bottle. But he is still alive.

Blackcurrant and Raspberry Wine (mostly) - The Making Of ...

The cats woke me up irritatingly early this morning, Sunday 6th July. Stanley wanted food, and on his second time of asking, forty minutes before the alarm was due to go off, I carried him downstairs and shut him in the front room. Then Aggie started making a fuss. I swore heartily at her but Claire woke and pointed out there was something wrong. Aggie was dragging her leg, but with no noticeable injury. We wonder if she has had a stroke - she is at least 17 - and we will monitor her over the next few days. Now it comes down to it, I realise I am quite fond of Aggie, despite her being the worse of cats.

Aggie

Anyway, one of my tasks this morning was to clear Julia's freezer of fruit. She had helpfully organised it so that fruit was at the top, vegetables in the middle and meat on the bottom shelf. Except beetroot seemed to be classified as 'fruit'. I checked with Claire to make sure they weren't plums. In total I came away with 4 lbs 2 oz of blackcurrants, 1 lb 2oz raspberries, 12 ½ oz of a blackberry and apple mix and a bag of redcurrants, which Claire is turning into jelly but allowing me ½ oz for the wine.

We then went to Julia's allotment to return her key - another significant moment in saying 'farewell' - and I took a small handfull of whitecurrants (¼ oz) to add to the mix. I calculate that this comes to 6 lbs 1¼ oz fruit - which is enough for a double batch.

The fruit had defrosted by Sunday evening, so I crushed it in its bucket, added 6lbs of sugar and 12 pints of boiling water. The next morning I added the yeast, two teaspoons of nutrient and one of pectolase.

On Saturday morning, 12th July, the wine went into its two demijohns. Ordinarily I would have done this a day or two earlier, but my evenings have been taken up with a less-dreadful-than-expected concert and Book Group. The wine is still bubbling away, though, and is very dark pink in colour, with what looks like a massive sediment forming. Aggie appears to have recovered, so my thoughts of a final visit to the vets were premature.

If you want to see how this wine turned out (and it was very good!), click here.

Rhubarb Wine - First Bottle (B1), 5th May 2014

This bottle was the reward for a long and difficult walk. We did a circular route starting from Buttermere, taking in Scale Force, Red Pike, High Stile and something else besides. It was a beautiful and varied walk, and on the whole 'Up' was not a problem. 'Down', however, was a different matter entirely, and I have a bruise on my right buttock to show for it. Hence the rhubarb wine being a reward. It is its usual reliable self - pink tinge, fresh white wine taste, lovely.

Photo-bomb on the top of Red Pike

If you want to see how I made this wine, click here.

Gooseberry & Elderflower Wine - Third Bottle (B2), 11th-12th September 2013

On the basis that I have too many bottles of this flavour simply to ignore it, I put a Gooseberry & Elderflower in the fridge for a post-WYSO midweek drink. I had expected it to be awful and, in fact, it turned out to be merely not particularly nice. I see this as a distinct result. There was not the ghastly aftertaste of the first bottle, and the overall effect was one of blandness.

Our first couple of glasses were after WYSO (where we started on the violin concerto), while watching The Great British Bake Off. The bottle was finished on Thursday after trios at Pat and Peter's. I have developed a mouth ulcer immediately opposite my pointiest tooth (for which I blame a particularly horrible solicitor I am dealing with at work) and it makes playing the bassoon painful. The wine was an anaesthetic.

I thought this a suitable illustration.

Crab Apple Wine - Bottle B2, 31st March 2012

The final bottle of Crab Apple 2010 ended in dramatic fashion.

I took this with me to an extended family gathering at Great Hucklow. Shortly after finishing the bottle we all gathered outside in the evening sunlight for a family photo. Except my mother was not there. She had gone to get her shoes. My father, being an impatient soul - a trait I have inherited - decided after thirty seconds that she was taking too long, and strode off to find her. He caught his sandal on a step and went sprawling, wine glass in hand. There was a simultaneous sound of collective gasp and shattering glass. Anne said "He's hit his head" and it was clear that blood was flowing from this crumpled heap. Happily, Anne was wrong and all he had done was cut his hand badly.

Pop was carted off to Casualty whilst the rest of us (except Mom, who went with him) ate and played games and generally had an excellent time.

Government Health Warning: Crab Apple Wine can cause Serious Injury.

Hawthorn Blossom - Bottle 3, 20th-25th October 2011

We opened this on Thursday when I was glum - though I cannot now remember why. Possibly because my finger hurt after I had crushed it on two consecutive days in exactly the same manner. Anyway, Claire thought that I needed both chocolate and wine. Which was a mistake. There is something about Hawthorn Blossom Wine that goes very badly indeed with chocolate.

Leaving the wine in the fridge until Sunday improved it, but even then it is only nearly nice. There are floral, honeyed overtones which should be delicious, but there is something lurking below which makes the entire experience a failure. Still, a glass on Sunday watching QI and another in a bath tonight were just about welcome.

Christmas Tutti Fruti - Bottle A5, 21st October 2011

We have a bottle of Nasty Hawthorn Blossom in the fridge, and I had been anticipating drinking that whilst on my long walk home. However, Claire persuaded me to open something better - and this fitted the bill.

I drank more than my fair share and consequently am feeling woozy. Christmas Tutti Fruti has matured nicely, though. This had more depth than previous bottles.

The most exciting aspect of today was failing to injure my finger (see Gooseberry). Actually, that is a lie. I avoided crushing it between chair and desk, but I had to plaster it after a paper cut. Dexterity Ben lives.

Gooseberry - Bottle B3, 18th-20th October 2011

I have been in a poor mood during each of the three evenings on which this bottle has been consumed. It is mostly unspecific miserable old sod syndrome. Tuesday night was busy with Quince wine assembly, which was unjoyous faff. More excitingly, Wednesday and tonight's grumpiness has been caused respectively by my injured finger and my even more injured finger. Both days, around lunchtime, I have trapped my left little finger hard between my chair and desk. On Wednesday the middle of my fingernail turned blue. Today completed the process and I am sure it will fall off in time. Both occasions were massively painful. One day it will be a funny anecdote. But the finger throbs too much for that day to be today. The wine helped somewhat.

An unimpressive photo of my blue nail