Prune & Parsnip Wine - Sixth Bottle (A4), 14th July 2017

This was a quiet Friday evening bottle, in which nothing remarkable happened and I was asleep by 10:30. There actually isn't that much else to say about it. We drank the wine to a risotto and then to an episode of QI, and commented on its golden colour.

This has to be the dullest entry ever, and so I will write no more. Let us never speak of this again.

Blackcurrant Wine - Eighth Bottle (C5), 20th January 2017

Returning from David Wilks' on Friday night, I expected this bottle to have been mostly consumed. It was, afterall, nearer to nine than eight. And did I mention it being a Friday night? Instead, Claire had only had one glass. We soon polished it off though, snuggled up on the sofa in front of the fire watching QI. It being two days later now, I can't really remember much about the wine itself. I imagine it was blackcurranty. But the evening was lovely - pretty much everything a Friday evening should be.

Inca Berry & Raisin Wine - The Making Of...

An Inca Berry (or Physallis) (or Cape Gooseberry)

Back in April last year, at the Extended Family Do, I was complaining that it was difficult to find a fruit that began with the letter 'I' for my wine alphabet. Adam, being a modern-day technologically connected teenager, pulled out his phone, did a quick search and discovered both Inca Berries and a place that sold their seeds. Now, I know this fruit as 'Physallis' and others call it 'Cape Gooseberry'. However, that the seed packet said 'Inca Berry' is good enough for me to tick the letter 'I', leaving only 'J' and 'Z' to go.

Inca Berry seedlings - taken to Cornwall

We planted the seeds in mid-April, sending a pack to St Albans for Lou and Adam to fail to grow, and took the seedlings with us to Cornwall for a week's holiday in May.

Inca Berry Plants in Summer

By July the plants were putting out flowers - an attractive yellow and brown mix, and by September these had turned into green lanterns surrounding the nascent fruit. This is really where it started to go wrong. Our summer was not hot enough and the autumn not dry enough for the lanterns to turn brown, crack open and reveal a small yellow globe. Some did, but on the whole the lanterns and their fruit inside stayed resolutely green.

Over time Claire and I harvested what we could - even bringing three of the plants inside (this helped) and this weekend, 15th January, I harvested everything that had not gone rotten. Overall, this produced only 1 lb 8 oz of fruit in various stages of ripeness. This is not enough for a batch of wine, but I couldn't waste what had grown, so I have made do with 'Inca Berry and Raisin Wine'.

I mashed the Inca Berries in my bucket (and they made a satisfying 'pop' as I crushed them) and added 1 lb 8 oz of minced raisins. Raisins have their own sweetness, so I added 2 lbs 8 oz sugar (which is half a pound less than I usually add to a wine) and poured in six and a half pints of boiling water. The Inca Berries are perfumed, which gives me hope that this won't be the blandest wine ever made (I think Ya Ya Pear may get that particular prize).

I left the mixture over night and added the yeast and a teaspoon each of nutrient, pectolase and tannin on Monday 16th January. I had earmarked Friday to put the wine into its demijohn, but by the time I returned from practising bassoon pieces with David on the piano, Claire had started a fire, downloaded an episode of QI and opened a bottle of wine, so I left it until this morning, 21st January.

The wine is exceptionally brown, and Claire says it suggests a bad attack of cholera. Yum!

If you want to see how this wine turned out, click here.

Prune & Parsnip Wine - Seventh Bottle (B6), 20th-23rd October 2016

We needed to drink something rather better than the Vanilla Wine just finished on Thursday night. Pretty much any bottle would have done, but I pulled out a 'Prune & Parsnip' from under the stairs. We were officially 'on holiday', having taken Friday off work to go to Keith & Jaki's renewal of their marriage vows, so opening a second bottle on a Thursday night wasn't that scandalous. And in comparison to Vanilla, it is Nectar of the Gods.

We finished the bottle tonight, Sunday, while watching Sandi Toksvig's first episode of presenting QI. She is rather good and Stephen Fry will be less missed than I had imagined.

Orange Wine - Eleventh Bottle (A6), 23rd January 2015

I have, within the last half hour, sneezed loudly eight times in a row. This leaves me feeling light-headed. Or maybe that is the alcohol.

This orange wine is very good indeed. One of its strengths is its colour (a brilliant yellow) and its absolute clarity. The taste is fabulous - and this bottle had an unexplained essence of vanilla.

It has been a typical Friday night at home: I have listened to The Now Show and The Archers. Matt Crawford has been written out, and I am cross about that - he was the best of villains. Claire has cooked a delicious 'The Sick and the Weak', and we have watched QI in an alcoholic fug. This is how Fridays should be.

The best of villains

Rhubarb Wine 2012 - Final Bottle (A1), 12th-13th November 2014

I put this bottle in the fridge shortly before Claire told me that we needed something nice to drink. She is not a huge fan of rhubarb and I offered to swap it, but she was in such a bad mood that she told me it was "fine" and I daredn't argue. The bureaucrats at Claire's work are insisting that she moves from an office that she likes, and no-one else much wants (for reasons of its thinness and pentagonal shape) into one that has very little light, not enough sockets, no shelving and a 1970s carpet full of oranges and browns. Claire has no say in this and feels like she is being treated as a piece of furniture.

I think two glasses of rhubarb wine helped - it was fizzy and cold and sweet, and we drank it to an episode of QI after a Brahms rehearsal.

Elderberry Wine - Third Bottle (B2), 30th August 2013

I wanted to leave this bottle at least until September. Three bottles of elderberry drunk in the last fortnight of August? It is sacrilege. Claire was more sensible. It was clear that the bottle would explode sooner rather than later. Why not share it between ourselves rather than with the carpet as well? So I opened the wine and poured it into the waiting jug where it fizzed and bubbled.

The wine fizzing and bubbling

It was a lazy Friday night where we drank the wine to homemade breadsticks and tapas, to an unseen episode of QI and a couple of episodes of Twenty Twelve. I rang Rachael to find out how she and family are all settling in back at Leicester - chaotically seems to be the answer. Myles is frustrated that currently he can only crawl backwards.

The wine having calmed down a little

Hawthorn Blossom - Bottle 3, 20th-25th October 2011

We opened this on Thursday when I was glum - though I cannot now remember why. Possibly because my finger hurt after I had crushed it on two consecutive days in exactly the same manner. Anyway, Claire thought that I needed both chocolate and wine. Which was a mistake. There is something about Hawthorn Blossom Wine that goes very badly indeed with chocolate.

Leaving the wine in the fridge until Sunday improved it, but even then it is only nearly nice. There are floral, honeyed overtones which should be delicious, but there is something lurking below which makes the entire experience a failure. Still, a glass on Sunday watching QI and another in a bath tonight were just about welcome.

Crab Apple - Bottle A5, 9th October 2011

Having spent much of the weekend turning crab apples into a variety of wines, this bottle was the natural choice to drink. The sun was only just past its official six o'clock yard arm when I removed the cork, but using a modicum of self-restraint this bottle has lasted the night.

I spent much of the evening talking to Todd, who I have not spoken to since February. It was lovely catching up with him - he is a kindred spirit. The rest of the evening has involved eating fabulous curries prepared by Claire - one of which contained the last of this year's tomatoes, and watching QI on insects and other invertebrates. It is an appealing programme, and closely related to Radio 4 panel shows.