Gooseberry Wine 2020 - Third Bottle (1), 25th-26th August 2021

Instructions for a beetroot & goats cheese risotto directed me to use 150 ml of dry white wine. Having nothing real in the house, I thought that gooseberry would work so opened this bottle. My supposition proved correct: the risotto was excellent and it is a good one to have in my repertoire. The wine wasn't bad either, though not as dry as I had remembered. It was improved by chilling. There was a glass left for Thursday - a day in which a dental hygienist looked at my teeth after four years. Torture!

A fallen and sawn up tree on my walk.

Orange Wine 2020 - Fifth Bottle (B6), 15th October 2021

Friday was not the most relaxing fun day that I have ever had. Two hours of it was spent lying back in a dentist's chair with my mouth wide open as the dentist said things like "Don't worry about the pain: that's normal," and "Try to relax!". In the end he saved my molar and that is worth 120 minutes of discomfort. By the time 6 p.m. rolled around I was ready for my fair share of wine. By the time Taskmaster was on I was sufficiently numbed by orange wine and whisky to be enjoying the day again.

No photos taken on 15 October but this
was what I should have worn to the dentist's

Rhubarb Wine 2018 - Thirteenth Bottle (A2), 18th-24th August 2021

This was very much a mid-week bottle that lasted several days in the fridge. It was okay and served its purpose, but was not a memorable or delicious wine. Medical procedures have figured rather in the timeframe. I won't go into the first one, but everything was fine. On the day the bottle was finished, I went to a new dentist with a toothache. Disaster! Either I shall have to have it pulled or I will have to have a two hour root canal operation followed by a crown. Neither is joyful!

Taken on 24 August to celebrate International Bow-Tie Day

Blackberry Wine - Fifth Bottle (A6), 25th March 2017

A bottle of wine is always welcome after a concert, particularly when the wine is as good as this.

The concert was WYSO's 'England All at Sea'; the main pieces were Elgar's Sea Pictures (with a stunning contralto) and Frank Bridge's The Sea. Our poster showed a sinking ship - and any Brexit imagery must surely be a coincidence.

For once I was in the audience (on account of my tooth recovery) and it was a pleasure to be there. WYSO is a better orchestra than I had thought - the strings are a strong section, and I don't hear that when playing. After the concert we invited Rachel & Duncan over and dispatched the wine with alarming speed. Another bottle was duly opened...

Orange Wine 2017 - The Making Of...

Today is the first day since 3rd March that I have not had stabbing pain in my jaw and that I have not been on a four-hourly diet of pain killers. It is 12th March - nine days after my coronectomy - and until half an hour ago I was starting to believe that everything would be alright. However, I made the mistake of trying to play the bassoon just now. I got no further than putting the reed in my mouth and realising that this was not a good idea. Now, of course, I am worrying that I will never play the bassoon again. Still, I have wine-making as my other hobby, and I don't need a working mouth for that.

Today, after a brief spell in the garden helping Claire to create a herb bed, I started making my orange wine. As ever, this is a double batch for which I needed 24 oranges. Earlier in the week I had picked up three 'family size' bags from Sainsburys. On the whole I prefer to avoid supermarkets for my fruit and veg, but in this instance my inner miser (which is rather less 'inner' than that phrase suggests) won out and I went for what was cheap.

Taking the outermost peel off oranges

I took the outer most layer of peel off 12 of the oranges, and for once was nearly successful in avoiding the pith. This took about an hour and I avoided boredom by listening to a crime drama with Meera Syal on Radio 4 Catch-Up. I have covered this peel with 2 pints of boiling water and I will pour the water (minus the peel) into my bucket when I return from work tomorrow.

Orange peel to be covered with 2 pints of water

I squeezed all 24 oranges, measured the juice (3¾ pints) and poured this into the bucket. To this, I added 9 pints of cold water and 5½ lbs of sugar. Because the water is cold I have not had to wait to put in the yeast and rounded teaspoon of nutrient. This year I am experimenting by not putting in a teaspoon of pectolase. My hypothesis is that the wine will clear without it.

Wine in the bucket

On Friday night (17th March) the wine went into its demijohns. This took little time as there was virtually nothing to sieve out - only a bit of pulp - but I was careful to leave a half-pint gap between the liquid and the top of the demijohn. I don't want a repeat of last month's prune & parsnip shambles with wine froth all over our bathroom. As ever, orange wine at this stage is the happiest of yellows.

If you want to see how this wine turned out, click here

Clove & Ginger Wine - Third Bottle (3), 12th-13th March 2017

I chose Clove & Ginger as Sunday night's bottle for two reasons. Firstly, it has virtually no alcohol. This is important because I am on antibiotics. Secondly, cloves are famous for healing tooth-ache. This is important because I am recovering from a coronectomy and my mouth is still not right. I made the mistake of trying to do ten minutes' bassoon practice. Just blowing down the reed (and making no sound) caused me to worry that I may never play the bassoon again. So, what about the wine? Its taste was certainly distinctive. Claire said that it would numb the mouth and stimulate the bowels. Well, the mouth was duly numbed, but I am uncovinced otherwise. The wine was far from unpleasant, but not one to drink by the gallon.

Blackcurrant Wine - Eleventh Bottle (B6), 9th-10th March 2017

Whilst I was standing in First Class on my way back from London, I received a text from Claire. "Have opened a bottle of blackcurrant wine." This did not make me feel any better. My jaw was still hurting from last week's operation, it now having got infected. Being on antibiotics meant that I couldn't even look forward to a glass on my return. And the train I should have been on was cancelled due to overhead power-line collapse south of Doncaster - hence spending my journey stood up.

Claire and Rachel had very nearly finished the bottle by the time I finally got home - leaving just a mouthful, which I thought would be okay for my Friday night alcohol (notwithstanding the antibiotics) and which I anticipated with delight. On Friday I asked whether that mouthful remained. It did not.

A thoroughly unsatisfactory bottle.

Prune & Parsnip Wine - Second Bottle (B2), 5th March 2017

Whilst this bottle was drunk in happier circumstances than the last, 'joyful' is not really a word I would use. This was the first alcohol I had consumed for 5 days, on account of having a coronectomy on Friday under General Anaesthetic. Of my original four wisdom teeth, I now only have the roots of my bottom left remaining. I thought the sweet, semi-medicinal flavour of prune & parsnip would be beneficial. Whislt the wine itself was everything that prune & parsnip should be, my physical well-being declined over the evening and I got packed off to bed, having only had half of my food and with wine left in my glass. With any luck, this will be the last time my teeth give me any bother.

If you want to see how I made this wine, click here.

Rhubarb Wine - Fifth Bottle (A6), 18th-21st September 2016

Sunday found me driving a 21 foot van to Whitby whilst wearing a Superman T-shirt. My colleagues had cycled from Morecambe to Whitby over 3 days and needed someone to drive their bikes back to Leeds. When a call went out for drivers I hadn't anticipated that I would be driving anything other than my (small and red) car. Other than the crash, everything went swimmingly.

The type of van I drove

Back at home Claire asked if I wanted anything to drink. In fact I was so exhausted that I only had one glass of rhubarb wine, which was cold and pink and refreshing. Claire has had the rest of the bottle over the week (with occasional sips from me) because I am on antibiotics. Yet again my wisdom tooth is infected and I live with a dull, nagging, constant pain.

In Whitby with a colleague

Christmas Tutti Fruti - Fifth Bottle (B4), 6th-7th May 2015

We are about to go on holiday and of course: a) I am busy at work; and b) my wisdom tooth has decided that now is a good time to flare up. I cannot do much about the former and I have an antibiotics prescription for the latter. At least this Christmas Tutti Fruti is a decent bottle. The rose petals are distinct and a benefit, and the whole thing has a rounder taste than past vintages.

I had my last couple of glasses on election night, where the BBC exit poll made depressing reading, but not as depressing as what, in fact, happened.

Rhubarb Wine - Ninth Bottle (B5), 12th March 2015

Thursday nights are not generally nights to open and finish a bottle of wine. All I can say is "whoops". Both of us felt like we needed it. Claire had come back from the dentist with a new filling and a numb mouth. I am being plagued by ear-wax. My left ear has not been working since Monday and it is becoming both tedious and uncomfortable. So an entire bottle of wine it was, and quite a good one too. Definitely "mid-week" ranking, but at the top end of that spectrum.

Apple Wine - Second Bottle (1), 15th November 2014

This bottle really split opinions at the Wine Party. Two people scored it a 'One' and two others gave it a 'Five'. I thought this was one the worst, but it came sixth of twelve, getting 3.375 on average. Katie said it tasted of dentist's mouthwash, but several people commented on its freshness. These aren't mutually exclusive, of course. Matthew thought it would be lovely with a ploughman's lunch. Personally I thought it thin, dry and bland. So, a whole range of opinions there.

A Ploughman's Lunch

Orange Wine - Second Bottle (A3), 16th-17th April 2014

My tongue is on fire and my teeth are coated with caramalised chillies. It is an excellent feeling. Orange wine can only help (although I appear to have finished it). It is Maundy Thursday - which means a very long weekend which we will spend in Newcastle. Too many whiches in that sentence.

I have bottled two flavours while drinking this wine - strawberry yesterday and cherry this evening. Both are good, and they have helped bulk out our alcohol ration. Claire is currently distracting me by rubbing her new gloves against my stubble and declaring "percussion".

Crab Apple Wine - Thirteenth Bottle (C3), 14th March 2014

Mostly I am on the mend. My cold has improved, I am neither shivering or feverish and my desire to flop into bed is only moderate. However, the gum around my one remaining wisdom tooth has flared up again and if it is no better on Monday I will go to the dentist. It has to come out - this is becoming too frequent. Tonight I have tried to numb it with gin, followed by crab apple wine, and this is only partially successful. How very irritating. Still, once this one goes, I have no more wisdom teeth and my mouth should remain pain-free.

My dentist's

Prune & Parsnip Wine 2014 - The Making Of ...

After having my teeth scraped, polished and cleaned at the dentists, I went in search of parsnips. Noshis, our usual fruit & veg place, was closed and the next nearest shop had vegetables one stage away from the compost heap, so I resorted to Morrisons, which is an unlovely supermarket. They had prunes and parsnips aplenty, so I bought half a kilo of the former and four pounds of the latter.

The remainder of the weekend was busy with Music Club, walking in the Howardian Hills and ploughing through The Rainbow (which involved much gnashing of teeth), so I put the parsnips in our coal shed and retrieved them on Saturday 8th February.

I cut the parsnips into small pieces, covered them in our largest pan with eight pints of water and let them stand for a couple of hours whilst I did other wine-making things - mostly rinsing and sterilising bottles for redcurrant wine.

I chopped each of the prunes into three or four pieces and put these in my bucket with 5 lbs 12 oz sugar. This is a touch less sugar than previous years and I do not know how much difference it will make. I brought the pan containing the parsnips to the boil and boiled them for twenty minutes. By this time the parsnips were soft and had lost much of their flavour. I poured the liquid over the prunes and sugar and discarded the parsnips. I boiled another seven pints of water and pourd this into the bucket too.

On Sunday morning I added the yeast and a teaspoon each of nutrient and pectolase. My recipe says I should also put in some amylase, but I have run out. If the wine hasn't cleared by racking I will buy a jar and put a teaspoon in then.

I left this until Thursday, 13 February, before sieving out the prunes and putting the liquid into its demijohns. This was a longer, stickier process than I had anticipated, and it looks like there will be a large amount of sludge at the bottom. I could have used about another pint of water. As usual, this is my brownest of wines.

If you want to see how this wine turned out, click here

Christmas Tutti Fruti - Tenth Bottle (A4), 20th September 2013

I heard this bottle go 'Pop' at about two in the morning. It did not wake me up. I was already awake, lying in the back bedroom, comfort reading William Carries On while fretting about Alan Titchmarsh. (See 'Clove & Ginger Bottle 2' for the whole sorry story.) Stan looked askance at the noise and I took it as my sign to try sleeping.

Later in the morning, at a reasonable hour, I inspected my bottles and found this one without its cork, so our Friday night bottle was decided upon. I have had a sober week, what with the infected wisdom tooth and antibiotics, but I did not let this stop me from finishing the bottle with Claire. The wine was on the thin side, but perfectably acceptable. It helped the elderberry stripping process and was a decent accompaniment to 'Hot Tomatoey Garlicky Chicken', which works just as well as 'Hot Tomatoey Garlicky Prawns'.

Clove & Ginger Wine - Second Bottle (1), 18th September 2013

Well, this wine won't win any prizes for 'Most Alcoholic Home Brew'. Claire and I drank the entire bottle in an hour, late on Wednesday night, and neither of us felt like we had drunk as much as a glass of wine. I picked clove & ginger partly because I had forgotten to put an elderflower in the fridge, but also because cloves are meant to be good for toothache. Despite having been on antibiotics for 48 hours, my tooth still hurts. As does my self-respect. Yesterday I was given the chance to appear on The Alan Titchmarsh Show to discuss wine making. But it was for today, in London. And I turned it down for being too short notice. I am kicking myself. I could have gone. I should have gone. The opportunity is unlikely to return. Why am I so cautious, unwilling to break out of my routines?

Blackberry Wine - Second Bottle (B4), 15th-16th September 2013

My wisdom tooth has returned with a vengeance. It has always been there, of course, but is the last one of four and is showing its displeasure at the state of affairs. On Sunday night I dulled the throb with not quite half a bottle of blackberry wine whilst manfully struggling through a chicken roast dinner. This is another sign that autumn has arrived and one of the most welcome things about the season. By Monday I was on antibiotics and contemplating minor surgery. Therefore the last glass in the bottle was Claire's.

The blackberry wine was fabulous - better than the last bottle, which was already good.

A Medieval Depiction of Toothache

Orange Wine 2013 - The Making Of ...

Street oranges

March is forever the month in which I make orange wine, so I spent much of February keeping my eyes open to source the raw ingredients. Last week I had a rare trip to the dentist, prompted by a throbbing gum around my remaining wisdom tooth, and on the walk home I noticed boxes of oranges outside a shop looking ripe and healthy and pleasing. On Saturday I returned to the shop and asked how much they were. Hearing "Twelve for a pound", my inner Yorkshire miser did pirouettes of joy. In fact, when I inspected them closely, I saw that they were: a) small; and b) a bit manky. However, with careful selection I managed to choose 24 oranges which passed muster.

Horse poo for the garden

I started the wine on Sunday, 3rd March, which was a day full of tasks. I had to write myself a list and tick them off as I went. So Claire and I went to the tip, bought a compost bin (that just cried out for a Dalek photo opportunity, which I indulged - complete with sink plunger, egg whisk and sieve on the head; for that photo click here), and went to the local stables to collect horse poo for the garden.

Back at home I thinly peeled twelve of the oranges, doing my best to avoid the pith, put the peel in our large stainless steel pan, and covered this with four pints of boiling water. Next I squeezed all the oranges, putting their juice and whatever fleshy parts that came loose into the bucket. I added seven pints of cold water, five and a half pounds of sugar, the yeast and a teaspoon each of nutrient and pectolase and gave it all a lengthy stir. This all sounds simple enough, but the whole process (including breaks to avoid stiff shoulders) took over three hours.

Orange peel in the pan, awaiting water.

On Monday morning I poured the water that had covered the peel into the bucket, discarding the peel. I transferred all the liquid into its demijohns on Friday night, 8th March. This was a quick process, which is a good job seeing as I did not start until after ten. I am currently struggling to keep my eyes open. There was not quite enough water added this year, and this must be down to the diminutiveness of the oranges. I think at least another pint would have been right. The yellow colour is not as vibrant as in past years.

Orange wine, which could be yellower

*

If you want to see how this wine turned out, click here

Citrus Wine - Sixth Bottle (A3), 26th-27th June 2012

This bottle has coincided with more wisdom tooth problems. I only have the one left, and it is making its presence known. Monday I felt a slight twinge in the gum and pretended I had not. Yesterday and today I acknowledge there is a problem, but live in hope that it will go away. By Friday I will be booking dental appointments. Still the mouth wash might work. It certainly makes Citrus Wine taste odd, in an unpleasant way. This is a shame, as last night's two glasses (shocking for a Tuesday) were particularly good.

I drank last night's ration whilst reading 'Middlesex' by Jeffrey Eugenides. Though I am only a quarter of the way through, I think it is wonderful. Shocking, funny, beautifully written and gripping. In fact, I want to get back to it right now.