Crab Apple Wine - 27th Bottle (D5), 17th November 2018

Crab apple wine did rather better at the Wine Party than I had expected. It was fifth - and only just below 'Apple' in its average score. Amy wrote that she would have necked it as a teenager, which hints at its resemblance to cider: my teenage tipple of choice (until I was violently ill one night).

I chose 'Crab Apple' as my C wine in preference to 'Clementine' on the basis that I knew there were several awful wines at this party and I needed to up the quality. I think Crab Apple achieved that.

C is for Cider.

Clementine Wine - Fifth Bottle (4), 25th-29th August 2018

Claire spent the weekend in Oxford playing Ravel's String Quartet. Obviously I was going to have a bottle of wine whilst she was away, but as a loving husband I decided to open something nasty. In fact, Clementine Wine has improved from nearly undrinkable to nearly drinkable. I did not see this as a punishment (though I will still never make it again).

Bank Holiday Monday was a grand day. I took the opportunity to meet up with Vicky Butler, who kept me sane in my second year at Warwick and who I have not seen since 1994. We walked six and a half miles round Curbar Edge and it felt like only a week had gone by.

Curbar Edge, in Derbyshire

Clementine Wine - Fourth Bottle (6), 3rd-4th May 2017

There is a great photo of me looking relaxed and happy while Nick has his first sip of Clementine Wine. His eyes are bulging in the manner of one who realises he has just been poisoned. Now, I wouldn't go so far to describe this as poisonous, but all I can taste is a bitter lemon pith. Nick noted its petrol flavours and described a dustiness. The wine stayed open for two days around nine drinkers, and still over half the bottle went down the sink. At least that is another bottle of this vile brew finished.

Nick with bulging eyes

Clementine Wine - Third Bottle (3), 2nd-4th July 2016

This was my 'Comedy Bottle' of wine for the House Warming Party. Only those brave enough dared to have a taste - and I think that was only Becky, Nick, Phil and Phil. Watching the drinkers' faces was entertaining. You could see the "This isn't so bad" turn into "Gah - my taste buds, my taste buds". Nick was offered the bottle and refused to take it, which speaks volumes. In fact, I and the second of the Phils thought it wasn't That Bad. Acidic, yes, and tart beyond measure, but still drinkable. And now the bottle is empty.

Clementine Wine - Second Bottle (1), 14th-19th April 2016

With cries of "That's disgusting" and "Did you make this from a gold-miner's drowned daughter?" Claire decided not to finish her glass. I admit that there is an element of bitterness to the flavour and that it is otherwise dry and unremarkable, but I think she is being a little unfair. I won't make clementine wine again, but in my opinion it is still drinkable. The bottle did stay in the fridge for five days, though. During this period I performed in the Messiah, had a first rehearsal of Rachmaninov's Second Symphony (difficult) and saw Northern Broadsides do The Merry Wives of Windsor. This was fabulous. I haven't laughed so much in the theatre ever. The two wives were particularly good and the physical comedy was superb.

Clementine Wine - First Bottle (5), 9th January 2016

Claire's take on this flavour was "Mildly unpleasant" and she did not alter her opinion the further down the bottle she got. I thought it better than that - if I was to award it a degree, it would get a mid 2:2. There is a hint of bitterness to it, but the citrus taste of clementines is distinguishable. One to drink when there is nothing at all to celebrate.

This was my first bottle of wine for over a week, and drunk on a Saturday when the main activity was buying unimaginative birthday presents for my wife.

If you want to see how I made this wine, click here

Clementine Wine - The Making Of ...

Oh my darling.

Contemplating a new flavour

I had not planned this flavour for January, or at all. It was really ugli fruit that I was after, but my efforts to locate these last week drew a blank. Nowhere in the market sold them, and there were none in the Carribean supermarket that used to be the Fforde Green Pub. I knew that I wanted to start my wine today, 10th January, so was prepared to buy whatever Noshis was selling cheap. My default was either Prune & Parsnip or Orange, but I had hoped that they would have boxes of over-ripe tomatoes for a couple of pounds. When I got there this morning the tomatoes were regular price and the parsnips looked manky. However, Noshis was selling clementines at 15 for £1. Not having made Clementine Wine before, and January being a month for experimentation, I bought thirty, five of which have made it into the fruit bowl. The wine may be vastly similar to Orange but I may be surprised.

Clementines

Recipes on the internet say that I should use the zest of five clementines, so I made a half-arsed attempt at this. They also say that I should use 10 valencia oranges, and I ignored this entirely.

I peeled 25 clementines and split these into segments (of which there were 223, or was it 228?). I removed the worst of the pith, but mostly didn't bother, and cut each segment in half with scissors. These went into my bucket and I gave them a good mash. I added 2½ lbs sugar and 6½ pints of boiling water.

Next morning, 11 January, I added the yeast (a sauterne variety) and a teaspoon each of nutrient, pectolase and tannin.

I have put this into its demijohn a day earlier than normal, on 14th January, but the fermentation seemed to be slowing down. The first demijohn chosen for the job cracked and broke during the sterilisation process. When I put in the not-quite-boiling water there was a distant whip-like noise and I knew immediately what had happened. It was a very neat break, though. Oh well. I have plenty of spares in the attic.

The liquid went into the replacement demijohn after a WYSO rehearsal (we have started on Mendelssohn's violin concerto) and is dull yellow in colour. The small taste I got was not promising and I fear that this experiment will be unsuccessful.

This was my first attempt to take a photo of the wine in its demijohn

If you want to see how this wine turned out, click here