Vanilla Wine - Final Bottle (1), 17th November 2018

We are into the bottom three wines for the Wine Party. This came fourteenth of sixteen, with an average score of 1.25 out of 5. It really was not a good wine (though with a dash of sugar syrup improved). Curiously, there were two people who enjoyed it - David and Anthony. Jayne, though, did not hold back on her comments: "Bloody awful. Smells bad, tastes worse and absolutely sod all like Vanilla." (I have censored the original comments for the purposes of this blog.) Two people referred to its industrial cleaner aroma, but it also got a surprising number of 3s and 4s (i.e. more than none).

V is for Vile.

Vanilla Wine - Fifth Bottle (6), 10th May 2018

I took this bottle to Dorset with me as my 'Comedy Wine'. Rather than pouring eight glasses, one for everyone, I poured one glass instead and everyone had a sip. That was all anyone could face and this one glass was not finished. Richard said that it reminded him of something he might find in the garage, and it was agreed that it had an air of brush-cleaner to it. Overall, not a success. My fish pie, on the other hand, was a triumph.

Prune & Parsnip Wine - Seventh Bottle (B6), 20th-23rd October 2016

We needed to drink something rather better than the Vanilla Wine just finished on Thursday night. Pretty much any bottle would have done, but I pulled out a 'Prune & Parsnip' from under the stairs. We were officially 'on holiday', having taken Friday off work to go to Keith & Jaki's renewal of their marriage vows, so opening a second bottle on a Thursday night wasn't that scandalous. And in comparison to Vanilla, it is Nectar of the Gods.

We finished the bottle tonight, Sunday, while watching Sandi Toksvig's first episode of presenting QI. She is rather good and Stephen Fry will be less missed than I had imagined.

Vanilla Wine - Fourth Bottle (3), 18th-20th October 2016

On the basis it was a Tuesday, I decided to open something nasty. We hardly ever drink on a Tuesday night, so something to discourage drinking seemed appropriate. Vanilla wine really isn't very good. Claire says that it is exactly on the borderline of "undrinkable". We still managed to finish the bottle. It joins the growing list of "Wines never to make again".

Vanilla Wine - Third Bottle (2), 30th January 2016

"I remember this bottle as slightly disappointing," I told Claire after revealing that our Saturday night bottle would be Vanilla wine.

"I remember it being vastly disappointing," she replied.

It is true that it wasn't my greatest. For the first time, though, I got a vanilla hit as the initial taste. And like many poor wines, once I had got used to the flavour (cloying, dull), the second and subsequent glasses were better.

We drank it after a visit from John, Jayne, Alwin and Lucas - it has been a couple of years since we last saw them, and the boys are delightful. We pressed a postcard for Rydal into their hands - Lucas plays the trombone - and they might give it a go.

When typing "cloying dull" into Google Image Search, I got this!

Vanilla Wine - Second Bottle (5), 26th-27th August 2015

It was 'Dessert Week' on The Great British Bake Off, so what better than a bottle of Vanilla Wine? In truth, plenty - almost any other flavour. This wine is drinkable but little more. (Unlike the Tepache which I tried to make from pineapple skins. It tasted of calomine lotion and had the consitency of muccus. It was meant to be light and fizzy.) At least I could detect vanilla this time.

We finished the bottle on our return from the theatre, where we saw The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-Time. It was physical theatre, wonderfully staged and brilliantly done.

Vanilla Wine - First Bottle (4), 16th-17th May 2015

Well, this was as disappointing as expected. It is not comically nasty, but it is not one to which I will be rushing to make again. The wine is dry with a hint of bitterness to it. If you concentrate hard there may be a vanilla taste towards the back. Its best attribute is its light pink colour, and it is never a good sign when the wine's greatest aspect is its tint. However, it is not a disaster.

I opened this wine as our first bottle home, back from holiday. Being on holiday is great, but it is always nice to return. And despite dreaming two nights in a row that he had died, Stan survived the cattery, is much better and no longer needs to wear the Collar of Shame.

If you want to see how I made this wine, click here

Vanilla Wine - The Making Of ...

A couple of weeks ago I was idly flicking through CJJ Berry when my eye was caught by 'Vanilla Wine'. I had never noticed this before, and - of course - this is the obvious choice for a wine beginning with 'V'. Yet, looking through the recipe, there is a glaring omission. For a vanilla wine, there is a distinct lack of vanilla. It called for rhubarb (six pounds), lemon (two) and hawthorn blossom (a gallon). This required serious amendment if I was to genuinely tick off the letter V. I decided that 8 pints of hawthorn blossom was ridiculous, so I have used three pints instead, and substituted a vanilla pod for the remainder. Otherwise I have (mostly) kept to CJJ Berry's ingredients and totally ignored his method.

Hawthorn Blossom on its tree

I picked the rhubarb from Julia's allotment on 10th May. This was only two days after she had died, and I found it almost too emotional. I have since been back to net her redcurrants, and that was much better. Anyway, today - Sunday 11th May - I ventured out to Stonegate Fields to pick the hawthorn blossom. Getting three pints took a fair while and having a measuring jug with me proved to be a Good Thing. I wasn't too fussy about stems or, indeed, leaves. Each pint came from a different tree, and I made a token effort only to pick open blossom, tending towards those with pink stamens.

3 Pints of Hawthorn Blossom plus a random bluebell

At home, I chopped the 6 lbs rhubarb into small pieces and put it in the bucket with 3 lbs sugar. I sliced the vanilla pod lengthways down the middle and chucked that in too. The lemons were peeled thinly and then squeezed, with both peel and juice being added.

Rhubarb and Vanilla Pod

I boiled seven pints of water and poured this into the bucket. This all sat for about ninety minutes before I tipped in the hawthorn blossom. I probably should have waited until the water cooled, but I was worried about the flowers shrivelling and turning brown.

Vanilla Wine in its Bucket

The yeast and teaspoons of nutrient and pectolase went in on Monday morning and I put the liquid into its demijohn on Friday evening, 16th May. Seven pints of water was too much. Six would have done. The wine is its usual rhubarb pink. I had a taste, and at this stage it is mostly unpleasant. Let's hope that it matures nicely.

Vanilla Wine in its Demijohn

If you want to see how this wine turned out, click here